My oldest (9yr) has been a real turd lately (and that's putting it nicely). He's been giving me MAJOR attitude! Telling me shhh when I'm talking or NO when I ask or tell him to do something or i would be telling him something and he'd get all frustrated and say "You don't make any sense when you talk just STOP" Excuse my language but that shit don't fly with me! I didn't raise my boys to be rude and disrespectful boys (and normally there not there very kind thoughtful boys). It's been like a dam battle zone around our house lately between me and him. I swear that boy knows exactly what buttons to press and he's not just pushing them he's jabbing them down and holding there. Its been about 2 weeks of this crap and I've tried talking to him cause usually when he acts up somethings wrong or bothering him. He kept telling me nothing was (moms just know) finally last night after a yelling match he broke down crying and told me he's "different" then everyone else :( I asked him what he meant. He told me cause he's not just in a "regular" class (in case you haven't read my other post my son was recently evaluated and diagnosed with a major learning disability and has an IEP since 1st grade he's in 3rd grade now. And he has a regular homeroom class but spends the majority of the school day in his special education classroom) he's telling me this as tears are pouring down his face I can see the heartache in his face and I try holding back the tears and telling him its ok baby your an awesome amazing person your brain is just wired a little different then most peoples but that doesn't make you dumb or "different" everyone learns differently. As I'm telling him this my heart is acing for him I love my boys more than anything in the world and just wish I could take his heartache away. Schools almost over this year they only have 3 more days but the school wants him to go to summer school and I'm not sure what to do about that (he doesn't want anything to do with it) and I really can't blame him I wouldn't want to go either. I think I'm going to call the guy that did his evaluation and ask him his opinion on it (I'm not sure if it would really benefit him if they arnt going to have the "extra" help he needs) I'm also really worried about next year for him they switch schools after 3rd grade and I'm hoping he feels more secure and confident in himself but I honestly don't know if things will get better or worse:( Sorry I'm tearing up as I write this I just really needed to vent.
It's a shame that he doesn't want to do summer school. It may help him catch up with his peers and get some social interaction. My 12 year old loved it. She also has a learning disability and has ADHD/Anxiety. You do what you feel is best though. That's all us Moms can do.
ReplyDeleteThanks Brenda:)
DeleteAww, Nicole please don't tear up! Two mommies tearing at the same time is no good! I can't even imagine how you feel, your a strong mommy cause I would of fell to the ground crying with him. I know it hurts to see him like that, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS reassure him that he is no different than anyone and indeed he is special! He is unique in his own little way. He's too young to realize this but as he gets older he will remember what you said and have confidence and live to the fact that no matter what happens he is loved. I hate the fact that kids generate to whats "popular" or "very known" and if your son is not in that group because he's "different" makes me sad =( he is no different than them he plays the same, laugh the same, hurt the same. As a mom I feel your pain and as the girl that was outcast for a while I feel his pain. It's a hard process but trust and believe mommy he will be ok. If it's not at the next school he will learn and appreciate himself. I would recommend him going to summer school just so he can improve a little bit more but also learn a little bit more about himself and condition you know? It sucks that it is the summer time but if it will benefit him in the end. I don't see how that can hurt him. Be strong mommy, little man needs you more than you think. And I believe he will be a strapping strong young man when school start next year! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Kae:) it took all I could take to not totally break down crying in front of him. I do tell him all the time how amazing and special he is. I just hope he ends up realizing it for himself! He has gone to summer school twice before and its not all summer long only a little over a month so I'm hoping to get him to see it more as a positive thing.
DeleteSorry you're having such a tough time. Well done for getting to the bottom of the problem though! It's rotten being the 'different' kid in school. Keep supporting and encouraging him. That's all any mum can do. Xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Charlotte:)
DeleteThat's a tough situation. I hope he finds something outside of school that he excels at and that can help him regain his confidence.
ReplyDeleteThank you Stacy:)
DeleteOh boy. My 8yo gets really disrespectful sometimes too and it makes me feel bad because I start to feel like I don't even want to be around him. All the tension is exhausting. My husband gets like that too with our oldest daughter who gets very sassy sometimes. We've learned to go out on "dates" with them when it gets bad so we can reconnect. They tend to behave better and open up when they have our full attention.
ReplyDeleteI know this opinion probably won't be popular, but I would let him take the summer off. I started homeschooling my son a few months ago and after a few weeks he was fighting me on everything. And I kept thinking that learning shouldn't be like this. Two other homeschooling moms with boys suggested I take a few weeks off. I thought this was crazy but they said he would go back to it. The thought is that kids don't need to be forced to learn. They want to learn, just not necessarily what and how we want them to. So I've been trying to pay attention to his natural interests and it's been really interesting. The one I'm most excited about is that he loves watching documentaries from The History Channel and I'm so impressed that he remembers so many details and dates. He liked when I read history to him but I think he likes the documentaries better because he gets info more quickly.
Thanks for the advice Marie I really appreciate it! I agree I don't think you should have to force learning (it should be enjoyable at least some what). My son really gets into nature shows/history ones to. I know every child learns differently.
DeleteThis was lovvely to read
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