Just Make It Threw The Day!

The day has barely begun and I'm already thinking to my self please give me the patients and strength to make it threw the day without ringing my sons neck or running away! (I'm just kidding I would never really ring my kids neck or run away so please don't freak out I'm really not a bad mom). Some days well actually MOST days are very trying. It's exhausting just being a mom but its really exhausting when one of your kids has "special needs" and everything just takes a little more thought, effort, time, planning, patients, understanding, sympathy. If you have a child with any kind of "special needs" I'm sure you understand.  Don't get me wrong I adore and love my boys more than anything in the world. They've brought so much love and joy into my life (saved my life) and I'm so very thankful for that! It's just hard and frustrating some times. Today was the boys last day of school (I'm excited and dreading it at the same time lol). I'm excited to have them with me all day and spend time with them and do fun stuff this summer. But I'm also dreading the arguing, complaining, fighting, drama (you get what I mean). This morning was craziness and my oldest had a melt down every time I asked him to do something he would respond with "I can't" lets just say it was a fun morning. Shockingly I managed to get a picture with both of them smiling.

I dropped the boys off to there last day of school (its only 1hr long). I had just enough time to take a breath and collect myself (I'm currently blessed with my monthly present so I'm gonna go ahead and blame my bitchiness and lack of patients on that :) The boys got home and my oldest was happy he got a tennis racket and balls as an award from his P.E. teacher for being best in his class :). He also got a most artistic award my middle boy got one for academic achievement and reading :) GOOD JOB BOYS! Shortly after they got home the bickering started lol. Oh well it'll be an interesting summer i guess. 

Sad, Frustrated and don't know what to do :(

My oldest (9yr) has been a real turd lately (and that's putting it nicely). He's been giving me MAJOR attitude! Telling me shhh when I'm talking or NO when I ask or tell him to do something or i would be telling him something and he'd get all frustrated and say "You don't make any sense when you talk just STOP" Excuse my language but that shit don't fly with me! I didn't raise my boys to be rude and disrespectful boys (and normally there not there very kind thoughtful boys). It's been like a dam battle zone around our house lately between me and him. I swear that boy knows exactly what buttons to press and he's not just pushing them he's jabbing them down and holding there. Its been about 2 weeks of this crap and I've tried talking to him cause usually when he acts up somethings wrong or bothering him. He kept telling me nothing was (moms just know) finally last night after a yelling match he broke down crying and told me he's "different" then everyone else :( I asked him what he meant. He told me cause he's not just in a "regular" class (in case you haven't read my other post my son was recently evaluated and diagnosed with a major learning disability and has an IEP since 1st grade he's in 3rd grade now. And he has a regular homeroom class but spends the majority of the school day in his special education classroom) he's telling me this as tears are pouring down his face I can see the heartache in his face and I try holding back the tears and telling him its ok baby your an awesome amazing person your brain is just wired a little different then most peoples but that doesn't make you dumb or "different" everyone learns differently. As I'm telling him this my heart is acing for him I love my boys more than anything in the world and just wish I could take his heartache away. Schools almost over this year they only have 3 more days but the school wants him to go to summer school and I'm not sure what to do about that (he doesn't want anything to do with it) and I really can't blame him I wouldn't want to go either. I think I'm going to call the guy that did his evaluation and ask him his opinion on it (I'm not sure if it would really benefit him if they arnt going to have the "extra" help he needs) I'm also really worried about next year for him they switch schools after 3rd grade and I'm hoping he feels more secure and confident in himself but I honestly don't know if things will get better or worse:( Sorry I'm tearing up as I write this I just really needed to vent.